the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
