dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Sorry about my life...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
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