Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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