either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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