walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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