I want to walk on stilts...naked
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
