so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
