it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
