and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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