Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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