My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
