Sponge bath it is.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
