brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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