You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
