do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
