I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
