We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize