He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize