Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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