a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
where are you?
Hypothermia
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
