Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
