omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
