I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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