I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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