her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
