Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
