this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
