They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
