Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
