Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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