He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
