Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
