I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
