I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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