i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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