I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
