Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
