and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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