I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
