wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
