I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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