me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
