She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
