it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I still have a little drunk in my system
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
