OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
