I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
