3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
