Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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