So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
