ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize