You're my little dorito
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize