my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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