let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
