So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
