is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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