It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
