This show inspires me to have sex in space
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
