Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
