sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
