About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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