Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
