I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
time to smoke my breakfast
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
