he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
