I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
