if i can run in heels then i can drive
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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