tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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