But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
