like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
