He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
oh god was she eating orange peels again
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
