the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
