3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
