Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
