im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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