I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize