You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
