I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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