I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
