If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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