If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize