covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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